Grateful for four kids. Grateful or healthy kids. Grateful because I've never had to now what it feels like to lose a child. Grateful because I realize how lucky I am. Grateful because in the middle of the roughest days I can stop and remind myself to be grateful for even the bad days. If I am ever unfortunate enough to lose a child, these bad days will become good days compared to that kind of gut-wrenching pain. I pray every night for parents who have lost a child. That kind of pain is unimaginable to me. I pray for peace and comfort for them. I just can't imagine that the pain ever gets better, whether it was yesterday or years ago. There are so many ways to lose a child and it scares me to death. On one hand I want to lock my kids in the house and never let them leave. On the other hand I want to take them to the doctors everyday to make sure that they're free of that horrible monster called cancer. I can't protect my kids from anything, so I pray for them. I pray all the time.
Being a mom is the hardest thing that I've ever done, but it's also the experience that I am the most grateful for.
