Three's Preschool for Tate

Tate started preschool in the three's class on Wednesday, September 7th. It was a cold and rainy day thanks to Hurricane Lee. He didn't seem to be too excited about going to school, but when it was time to leave the house he grabbed his bag and headed straight for the car. He wouldn't even stop for a picture. He was really excited about his special school bag. His teacher likes the kids to have gift bags so I got him a plain green one and put pictures on it of him doing his favorite things. I also put stickers all over it and then covered it in contact paper. He loves telling people about the things on his bag.

He went straight to his class and started playing with a Bob the Builder toy. His little friend Brad came over and played next to him. I got a few shots of them playing, but neither would stop playing long enough to look at the camera. I snuck out of class quietly and he didn't even seem to notice I was gone.

I checked on him a couple of times, sneaking a peek through the window of the classroom door. He sat listening to the story during circle time, ate his snack at the table and even completed his little project by putting stickers on a paper with the number three. At the end of the day he lined up with his class, walked down the hallway and waited to be dismissed by his teacher. To say that I was surprised that he cooperated so easily is an understatement! I am so glad that he enjoyed his day even though he was disapointed that the playground was closed due to the rain. I hope the rest of the year goes as smoothly as the first day of school.

In addition to preschool he still attends speech therapy once a week at the local elemetary school, but he is making great progress. He even helped me read "Dear Zoo" to him today and did a great job with all the words!

Currently his favorites are:
Color: Green
Food: Pizza
Drink: Orange Juice
Toy: Boats, Trucks, Tractors and Campers
Friend: Nathan
Favorite Place to Visit: Hersheypark
TV Show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse & Tom and Jerry Cartoons aka "that mouse and cat show"

First Grade for Nathan

It's that time of year when the kids start heading back to school. Nathan was the first to go. He had his first day of First Grade on Monday, August 29th. It was a beautiful summer day. I can hardly believe Nathan is old enough to be in First Grade! He seems to like his teacher and is enjoying the kids in his class. Two little girls from his bus stop are in his class as well as several kids from his Kindergarten class. He doesn't say much about his day, but I can tell he's enjoying it so far.

He still likes to buy his lunch and he enjoys picking out a new library book each week. His weekly progress reports from his teacher reflect a good attitude and good work habits. He tends to socialize a little too much, but we're working on that. He is also looking forward to starting Boy Scouts this year.

What do you like most about First Grade?: That I get to learn new stuff and make new friends.

What do you want to learn about this year?: How to write my letters better. I also want to learn about space.

Who are your friends this year: Simon K., James, Zach, Bella, Gracie, Hannah and Roman.

Do you like First Grade better than Kindergarten?: I think I liked Kindergarten better. I was in Kindergarten longer. I haven't been in First Grade that long.

The days are long, but the years are short.

I'm going to gradually catch up on what we did this summer, but for now I just want to write about how big my kids are getting! I just can't believe we sent Nathan off to First Grade and Tate went to preschool and next month my babies will be TWO! Where has the time gone??? Each day seems so long but the years seem to fly by. We've struggled to get through the past two years, but it's amazing to look back and see how much joy there was amidst the struggle. We laughed, we cried and we survived on very little sleep! Sometimes it seemed that this day would never come, but here we are! I'm just amazed. I can't wait to see what our kids accomplish in the next two years. I miss my snuggly little babies, but I love watching them learn and grow into amazing big kids.

Sunbeams and Storm Clouds

After absent-mindedly blurtting out "I don't know how you do it" today, I'm admitting that it's a lot easier to say than I was willing to admit in my last post. It's still on my list of "pet peeves," but I'll work on letting it bother me less.

While I still want to use this blog as a place to chronicle our family life, I'm also working on making it a place where I can write about other topics as well. There are always so many things in my head that I need to express somewhere and I have found it very therapeutic to write about those things in a place where many of my other "mommy" friends can read them and know that they're not alone. I have found through Facebook and my blog that we have so many things in common that we never talk about with anyone because we don't think they'll understand our daily struggles. It's comforting to know that there are others out there who feel and think like you do. While this blog is primarily for me, it is also for them.

If you're reading any of my posts, please remember that they only really reflect how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking in a very specific moment in time. Please take it with a grain of salt, and remember that my writings are usually not about people who know and love us in our daily life, but are usually a reflection of a specific incident that has occured while we're out of the house and interacting with strangers. We have twice as many children as the average family and that seems to leave people speechless.

I'm not sure how many people are reading my blog these days, but I do want to thank you for reading! I promise to give a family update soon! We've been quite busy over the summer! I'll leave you with one of my favorite pictures from this summer. Everytime I look at it I'm reminded of that old song we used to sing in Sunday School about "sunbeams." I'll try to do a better job of being a "sunbeam" myself. Instead of a storm cloud!

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
To shine for Him each day;
In every way try to please Him,
At home, at school, at play.

A sunbeam, a sunbeam,
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam;
A sunbeam, a sunbeam,
I’ll be a sunbeam for Him.

"I don't know how you do it."

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this phrase since we had the twins. If I had a dollar for everytime someone said this to me I'd be rich by now! I think most people  say that to me because they really can't imagine what having four kids in four years would be like. But to me it seems almost like an insult. Like a million dollars wouldn't be enough to convince them to trade places with me.

I just hate it. Because it also feels like it's what they say to me when they can't think of anything else to talk to me about. I know my life would be overwhelming to most people and they can't even imagine what my typcial day is like, but really, what choice do I have?? I didn't choose to have twins. They simply run in my family. It's not like I can say "No thank you" and give one of them back. We all do what we have to do. We all tackle each obstacle that's been placed in front of us as best we can.

So you're probably wondering how I typically respond to this statement. What I usually say is "You'd be surprised at what you do when you have no other choice." Personally, I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I tackle breakfast, then lunch time rolls around. In a little while it's nap time. Before I know it it's dinner time, bath time and then bedtime. Monday turns to Tuesday and then suddenly it's Friday. I try to ignore the mess. I do my best to listen as they talk. To remember that they're not going to be little forever and that in a few short years these struggles will be a distant memory. Most of all I try to laugh with them at all the silly little things they find funny.

I want so badly to enjoy the year between Lana and Jackson's second and third birthdays as much as I enjoyed Nathan's. I lost that year with Tate because of the twins. That year with Nathan was one of the best years I've had as a mom. I wish I could make it up to Tate, but time keeps marching forward.

These days I'm struggling to balance the fun activities with the necessary mom duties. I love to spend my day reading books, playing play-doh, coloring, playing trains, playing dress-up and watching the kids play together. But I'm  usually interupted with potty breaks, snack times, dirty diapers, mess clean-up and so many other things that just can't be left until tomorrow like the laundry, cleaning and the dishes. You quickly learn to set priorities and learn very fast how to tune certains things out. The noise level in my house often reaches ridiculous levels, but most days I barely notice. But most people have very little tolerance for the type of craziness that goes on inside my house because they aren't exposed to it very often. I can be a very lazy mom at times. I certainly don't do as much with the twins and Tate as I did with Nathan at the same age. I typically don't do finger-painting or arts and crafts. But as the twins get older and Tate gets more mature then I'm trying to do things with them that take more energy. It's just a lot more work cleaning up the messes from three little artists then it is cleaning up after one.

So what's my advice for you?? Don't say to me "I don't know how you do it" becasue one day I may just start charging a dollar everytime someone says it to me!

I Wish....

 

I wish I was one of those bloggers who could find something creative and funny to post each day. Or at the very least, something to post more often than I do. The truth is that on most days I'm just too tired. Too tired to even think of a topic to write about. Too tired to go through the hundreds of pictures I take in a month and post one and tell the story behind it. My days are filled with breaking up fights, cleaning up messes, picking up toys, changing diapers, making meals, cleaning up meals, putting kids down for naps, fixing boo-boos, reading books, doing laundry, thinking about how clean my house could be if I could just get it organized and get rid of some stuff, and stalking other people's interesting and creative blogs. Of course I also do a lot of playing blocks, attending tea parties, changing dollie diapers, feeding dollies, doing puzzles, making pretend meals and playing games. Then there's the "you have to practice your handwriting" fights that are immediately followed by the "you have to practice your reading" fights. Those are always fun! In the last couple of days we've added "leave the baby bunnies alone!" fights! While baby bunnies are very cute, it was not the smartest Bunny Mama on the block who decided to build her nest in our yard. Finally, we always end our day with the "brush your teeth" fight immediately followed by the "go to bed now" fight and the "stop goofing off and go to sleep" fight. I'm exhausted by the time lunch rolls around. It's summer. I should be spending my days outside enjoying the weather. Instead I'm stuck in the house watching too much TV because I'm just too lazy to keep four kids out of trouble in our backyard. I keep thinking that this is going to get better next year, or maybe the year after that. Then I feel guilty for not enjoying the moment I'm in. I wish I could. I wish I could be that person that lives in the "now" and is totally content with today and can overlook all the ugly things that come with being a stay-at-home mom. I'm not perfect. I'm nowhere near a perfect mom. I wish I didn't yell so much. I wish I had more patience. I wish that my kids got along with each other better. I wish one in particular wasn't so good at finding trouble and making BIG messes! But at the end of each day, I have to remind myself that I'm here. That I'm trying. That I'm doing the best that I can. That no one is perfect. That my kids are turning out just fine. They have their problems, but in general they're good kids. They behave decently well in public. They know they are deeply loved and that Jesus loves them. I don't want them to grow-up too fast. I know I'm going to miss this crazy life that I lead. But I do long for it to get a little easier. I long for a day that I can just enjoy being with them. I wish for a family outing that doesn't feel like a disaster waiting to happen. I hope for a vacation that feels like a vacation and that doesn't end in me wishing we had just stayed home. This is me. I'm not perfect, but I know I make better decisions for my kids than that unlucky Bunny Mama did for her little ones. Yup, that's how low I've sunk. Telling myself I'm a better Mama than a Rabbit! I'm ok with that. Yesterday was bad. Today was ok. Tomorrow will be better. My goal for each day is simple: Try to find something to laugh about with each one of my kids at least once! If I can do that, then I had a pretty good day.

p.s. I also wish I was better at adding pictures to my posts. This darn thing never cooperates on the first try!

New Photos!!

I know I'm behind again. The days seem to get away from me. Here are a few recent shots :-)

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is special around here. We go all out. From decorations to Valentine's themed shirts and heart shaped brownies to special little gifts for each of the kids. It was kind of a crazy day because Daddy was out of town for work and Nathan had to go to school, but we still had a great time. Happy Valentine's Day from all 4 of my Crazy kids!!

Grateful

Grateful for four kids. Grateful or healthy kids. Grateful because I've never had to now what it feels like to lose a child. Grateful because I realize how lucky I am. Grateful because in the middle of the roughest days I can stop and remind myself to be grateful for even the bad days. If I am ever unfortunate enough to lose a child, these bad days will become good days compared to that kind of gut-wrenching pain. I pray every night for parents who have lost a child. That kind of pain is unimaginable to me. I pray for peace and comfort for them. I just can't imagine that the pain ever gets better, whether it was yesterday or years ago. There are so many ways to lose a child and it scares me to death. On one hand I want to lock my kids in the house and never let them leave. On the other hand I want to take them to the doctors everyday to make sure that they're free of that horrible monster called cancer. I can't protect my kids from anything, so I pray for them. I pray all the time.

Being a mom is the hardest thing that I've ever done, but it's also the experience that I am the most grateful for.

Tate's BIG Tractor Party

For his third birthday Tate wanted to have a BIG tractor party, which translated means he wanted to have a John Deere tractor party.

We had a house full of family to help us celebrate and I can honestly say that I don't think I've seen him that happy and excited in a long time. He was beyond thrilled. He loved his balloons, his BIG tractor cake and all of his presents. We love this little guy beyond words and are grateful for every crazy moment he brings to our lives.

Happy Birthday Tate!!!

How Much Her Brother's Love Her

Have you ever had one of those moments as a parent where you think your kids are really starting to get all the things you've been trying to teach them? Well, maybe not ALL of the things, but you really rejoice when you discover that they understand just ONE of the things you've been trying to teach them.

One of the things we've been trying to teach our oldest two boys is the importance of taking care of their sister. We want to teach them to protect her, to respect her and to show her that they care about her. We've also been teaching them to take care of each other. It's not just about their sister, it's about sticking together and helping each other out. TJ and I may be gone one day and we want to make sure that the boys can help Lana with whatever she needs. It's not just about protecting her from bullies at school, or helping her with her homewoke. It's about helping her mow her lawn if she needs it or shoveling her driveway when it snows. It's about the little things and the big things. It's also about helping your brother with his home improvement projects or with his computer problems.

Anyway, back to my story. Our two oldest boys went to the grocery store the other night with my husband. While they were there they decided to buy me flowers. It doesn't happen that often around here, but it's always nice to get flowers. After inspecting the flowers they decided on red roses for me. Then after thinking about it for awhile the boys told their father that they needed to buy their sister flowers too!! They picked out the cutest bunch of pink carnations for her. When they got home they gave her the flowers and she got the sweetest look on her face!! She just lit up! It was such a special moment between two big brothers and their little sister. It makes me cry just thinking about it. Love those kids!!!

Lana's Little Pony Tail

 Lana is just barely starting to grow some hair. For the most part it's just peach fuzz, but she does have a spot on the top of her head with some longer hairs. They are just long enough for the cutest little pony tail you ever saw! It may not be much, but we're so proud of it. It only took 15 months to grow it! She loves her little pony tail too. This morning she brought me her pony tail holder and actually stood still long enough for me to put her hair up. When it was all done she ran away giggling. When it falls out she brings me her little pony tail holder and we put her hair back up. She just thinks it's the funniest thing and her brothers aren't sure what to make of it. They point at her hair, touch her little pony tail and give her weird looks. I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually, but for now Lana and I are enjoying this new experience.

Nathan's Lost Tooth

On Saturday night Nathan discovered that he had a very wiggly bottom tooth. Daddy inspected it at dinner time and decided that it really wasn't ready to come out. Nathan was really excited but a little nervous since he didn't know what to expect. He thought pulling it out would hurt. Despite being afraid that it would hurt I found he several times in the bathroom looking in the mirror trying to pull it out himself! When he finally wen to bed that night he still had all of his teeth.

The next morning we headed off to church and the first thing he did was show Pap his wiggly tooth. Pap took a good look at it and wiggled it himself and decided that it probably wasn't ready to pull yet. But just in case he got his secret tooth-pulling weapon ready. (That would be a tissue- he claims you need to dry the tooth off and use the tissue to pull it so that you can get have a good grip on the tooth as you pull.) Pap, my dad, has been the official family tooth puller for as long as I can remember. Pulling most of my teeth, my sister's teeth. I also have very specific memories of him pulling teeth from two of my cousins during visits to my grandparents house. You could say he has a lot of experience. Since he had said he didn't think it was time for it to come out I turned around to take care of one of the twins and the next thing I know Nathan has a hole in his mouth! I guess the tooth was ready to come out afterall.

Nathan was so excited to lose his first tooth. He told everyone at church that would listen and even showed a few of them his tooth! That night he got to use his very special tooth fairy pillow for the first time. He was excited to wake up the next morning to find that the Tooth Fairy had visited him and replaced his tooth with $2!

Jackson's First Haircut

A couple of months ago it became apparent that Jackson needed a haircut. His hair had started to grow and it was getting pretty long around his ears. I put it off as long as possible. It seemed to me that by getting his haircut, I would be proclaiming to the world that he's not a baby anymore. It's just such a hard thing to do with your last little one. (For the record, Lana is nowhere near needing a haircut since peach fuzz really doesn't count as "hair.")

But after months of putting it off I finally broke down and took the little guy to my favorite hair salon for his first cut. Since he's my shy guy he was pretty timid at first and even cried a little bit when we first put him in the chair. But he settled down pretty quickly once all the girls in the shop started talking to him and flirting with him. It didn't take much before he was all trimmed up and looking like such a big boy!! What a difference a haircut makes!

2010 In Review

I thought some of you might be interested in reading our 2010 Christmas letter. Many of you interact with us on a regular basis so you don't receive our yearly update so hopefully this will be a treat for you! I pray for health and happiness for each of you and that you will follow the link for Declan's Journey and read his story. I also pray that some of you will be moved enough to make a donation to a Pediatric Cancer fund and to pass his story on to your friends and family.

Love,
Erin

Dear Friends and Family,
What a year 2010 has been!! It has been non-stop here in the Spahr household. I feel like I haven’t sat down once all year! Having 4 little ones has kept me busy, but the year has been full of bright spots. Mostly small moments of playing in the basement, the backyard and eating a lot of pizza!! We are all looking forward to seeing what 2011 will bring our family and getting to venture out into the world.

Nathan turned 5 in May and started Kindergarten in August. He is really enjoying school. He loves riding the bus and buying his lunch each day. Thanks to my dad he has learned how to ride a bike (without training wheels!) and how to tie his shoes. His favorite toys are his Transformers.

Tate turned 2 in January and is quickly approaching his 3rd birthday! We’ve worked hard with him this year trying to improve both his speech and behavior. We are so proud of his accomplishments. He went from not speaking at all to using two and three word sentences. He still has trouble with pronunciation, but he’s trying really hard in speech therapy to improve. His biggest milestone was saying his own name in October!! He’s still our stubborn and independent wildman- you can depend on him to do the unexpected (like flush his brother’s toothbrush down the toilet!) but that just makes him who he is!

Lana and Jackson celebrated their first birthday in October. They have hit all of their milestones and are doing amazing. They both crawled early and learned to walk at 10 months. Lana is very outgoing and loves to play with her older brothers. She laughs hysterically when they tackle her. She also loves her dolls and is often found “talking” to them. Jackson is our shy guy. He is often scared by the physical play of his older brothers. He loves music and loves to dance and clap. He is just the sweetest little guy. He is content to sit quietly and watch the chaos around him.

I don’t have much going on outside the kids and house. I enjoy two mornings a week exercising at my local YMCA. We tackled some big home improvement projects, completely redoing the first floor bathroom and the living room/dining room/kitchen. Life is certainly crazy but I’m finding a way to be thankful for every moment. When I think about all the little ones fighting cancer it breaks my heart and I wish I could do more to raise awareness about how much still needs to be done to save them! A baby boy named Declan has changed my life and how I think about the precious moments I have with my kids. If you’d like to hear his story I’d love for you to go to www.declansjourney.com or donate in his memory at www.journey4acure.org.

TJ: I am still working for Microsoft spending most of my time with government customers, and mainly the USDA again this year. Six business trips in 2010 did have me away from the family throughout the year. I worry about them while I am away and I honestly don’t know how Erin does it on her own. I am very lucky to have such great kids and a super-mom wife to get us all through it.

Merry Christmas!! We hope that your journey this year will bring each of you much joy and happiness!!!

Tis the Season!

I know. I know. I'm behind again. Life is just soooo crazy busy for us!! We seem to move from one busy day to the next with no break from the craziness. Since it's the Christmas Season we did want to wish each and every one of you a VERY Merry Christmas!! May God Bless You and all those you love!!

Happy 1st Birthday Lana and Jackson!

It's so hard to believe that it's been a whole year since you were born. We've had quite the year to say the least. I'm so proud of all the things you've accomplished and am looking forward to all of the adventures we'll have together in the future. We love you very much!!!

First Day of Kindergarten

With 4 little kids you can imagine that we've had a very busy summer and start to the fall season. We had a huge milestone in our house recently. Nathan started Kindergarten. So far he's really enjoying school. He likes riding the school bus and buying his lunch. Enjoy a picture from his first day of school.

Jackson's 3 B's

Jackson's three favorite things in the whole world happen to begin with the letter "B." He LOVES his Binky, his Blanket, and his Bottle. Enjoy the picture of him hanging out with his three favorite things!